Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Scares me but dont put me off


I saw this pic somewhere on the internet...of a young woman with anorexia......it scares me it really does but it dont put me off i mean look at her it hardly looks real that she could be alive looking as she does....i mean i no i have problems with food but i dont want to go as far as the woman in he pic....i jus want to be skinny....I know im so stupid and ecspecially being a male as well......


The thing is i know inside im not fat but im starting to see in the mirror my body looks abnormal........i see my wrists are fat as well as my hands....My legs are fat and so are my eye lids and my cheeks...i mean before id say it and think afterwards that im so stupid but now it lingers with me and i dont think im stupid when i say im fat .....
Also the other pic of the woman over the toilet im not very good at making myself sick ive tried and tried but it wont work.....i think my mind is blocking me from doing it.....i mean i know im getting worse but im still scared of consequences of my actions...But as soon as that fear goes i wont care.....
Also today ive had big arguments with socall freinds i mean oh my god the pettyness was unbelieveable....ive got bigger troubles.......I mean i feel like writing a long blog but i havent got it in me it quater past two in the morning.... well final thoughts.....i love my cats so much.....thankyou denise for today and ermmmmm....Im scared xx

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