Im weak and water helps

I was doing well not eating scince my mistake and total memory loss but the smell of the the chicken in the house was bothering me for hours......I faught it up untill about 5 mins ago......i went inot the kitchen got a paer plate out and got 2 chicken legs a plain sausage, a plan sausage wrapped in bacon, nine chunks of cruchie and cadbury chocolate.......and a Gold chocolate bar........i feel like shit i hate the feeling of wen i eat........I drink water and water and then more water because it bloats me up but my throat dont feel all messy and my stomach dont feel massive and i feel tierd wen i eat i mean its somuch effort to eat something beause of all the stareing i do at the food and all the shaking my legs do and all the mental termoil as well is so much to deal with and the lies and fakness i mean im not the best at all that........Its just getting me down now im weak and cant stay away from food....there has to be a way from staying away from food.......i wish someone could help me think straight.....Its the same as wel another thing i have tried as well as drinking water is sorting food out like chocolate or things in fridges or cuboards because i found out tha by sorting themit throws me off the sent of wanting them...........